FFF Diva Historic News: Prop 8 is OVERTURNED!

‎"Because California has no interest in discriminating against gay men and lesbians, and because Proposition 8 prevents California from fulfilling its constitutional
obligation to provide marriages on an equal basis, the court concludes
that Proposition 8 is unconstitutional."

FFF Diva Song of the Day: "Just the Way You Are" by Bruno Mars

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” -Thich Nhat Hanh

Bruno Mars: "Just the Way You Are" (and he's Filipino too!)

Showcasing Your Talents: Advice on Networking

Showcasing Your Talents: Advice on Networking

The above is a link (& below is the article) to my cousin Catherine's latest advice about networking techniques. So proud! She is a FFF Diva herself! : ) <3 FFF Diva Mo


Showcasing Your Talents: Advice on Networking by Catherine Judge

When I moved back to San Francisco from New York exactly one year ago in August 2009, I found myself thinking about public relations. I have always wanted to learn more about the trade and often read the Papa Lo Down blog for advice. I realized it was a natural transition from being an organizer; because, just like organizing, public relations deals with messaging, campaigning, coalition building and event planning.

So I emailed Paloma Belara and hoped with my transferable skills and under her savvy direction and tutelage, I would develop professionally in the public relations world.

Sure enough, my speculations were correct and I soon found myself in the middle of deadlines, action plans, timelines, and always keeping an eye open for relevant news.

My experiences have inspired me to write this entry and to share my advice with independent artists.

BUILDING YOUR NETWORK
I often hear about the anxiety people get from the dreaded but necessary “networking opportunities”. My approach is casual but still professional. You can meet a future business partner potentially anywhere, and great partnerships start with a simple conversation. Be open to meeting new people and getting to know them and their passions. Just because someone is a bank teller doesn’t mean they can’t make a dope addition to your artistic network.

So the first steps are to breathe and release that intimidation, be open, and don’t have assumptions that can close doors for you. You never know who or what someone knows. Assumptions will only close doors for you.

Presenting Yourself
Get to the point! Be concise and keep in mind what you think might be interesting to others. Be proud of what you do but don’t ever lie. Yes, sometimes your “slight exaggerations” can count as a lie.

Following Up
Once you make that new connection, don’t forget to follow up as quickly as possible so you’re still fresh in their mind. There are a ton of reasons why someone might not be able to reach out to you, so make sure that you don’t lose that connection!

If you don’t have time to send them a thought provoking eloquently worded email right away—don’t worry! You can always drop them a line to show you want to cultivate a working relationship with them and work on that email later.

Some people are more responsive on twitter than by email. See this article to see just how much artists can get from utilizing these sites: http://artbistro.monster.com/benefits/articles/10695-4-things-artists-can-get-out-of-being-on-twitter.

Reciprocity
Some artists are notorious for courting friendships to exploit what they want and leaving once they get it. This is not the way to network and maintain relations. It will only make people resentful, and they will tell their circle about what you’ve done. Sometimes we don’t notice we do this.

So when you ask people for a favor, really think about when you’ve helped them, too. Always take into consideration people’s time, labor and effort. Even if they make a five-minute phone call to ask one of their friends to help you, they are still banking on their clout, reputation and trust that have taken them a long time to create.

Keeping it Alive
I have had artists complain to me that they have reached a plateau and feel stagnant with their art. Your network can help you with that! Collaborating with other artists you admire and exposing yourself to different genres of art is a great way to force you to get out of your comfort zone and create something new.

Further, always think outside the box and of ways to have members of your network participate in your next project. Those are lessons Papa Lo Down has taught me. Say you’re planning a community event and that you want your art to be featured. You know it will need a lot more than just your art to draw a crowd. Then you remember your relative owns a catering company, your friend is a dj, your coworker’s children are in a dance group, and your former classmate is an avid blogger who can help promote your event. Not only does this help your event and career, but it provides chances for your folks to shine too—reciprocal relationships! So don’t forget to think about your resources, figure out if the collaboration(s) blend with your theme, and make it work!

Lastly, ensuring you have a successful online presence is another way for people to stay in touch with what you’re doing even if you haven’t physically seen or talked with them recently. See this article on ideas to improve your online art presence:
http://artbistro.monster.com/education/articles/9687-5-ways-to-improve-your-online-art-presence?comment_page=2&page=2

Stay tuned for periodic blog posts on tools and advice as I share from my experiences.

ps. follow me on twitter! @mzjudge

FFF Diva Motivation: A Break Up Letter

Earlier this week I wrote a break up letter. Tough one. Let me know what you think...

Dear 250s,

We have had a great run these last 6 months although w/ ups & downs. Unfortunately I have reached a relationship w/ the 240s this month. Don't fret, because I'm leaving him for 230s by the end of Aug. I don't feel like settling. Hope you understand.

♥ Maureen

FFF Diva Reflection: When Things Aren’t Happening Fast Enough

On Perfect Timing: When Things Aren’t Happening Fast Enough
by Sonya Derian

“After winter comes the summer. After night comes the dawn. And after every storm, there comes clear, open skies.” ~Samuel Rutherford

I was talking to someone this week about his feeling that things weren’t happening fast enough. That with all he was doing, intending and putting out there, that more should be happening—and faster.

My question to him was, “Really? Should things really be happening faster? Or are you exactly where you’re supposed to be?”

There is a tendency, sometimes, to think we have it all figured out. When it should happen, how it should happen, who it should happen with—and before it’s “too late.”

We are powerful creators in life, but the truth is, we’re not in this alone. There are other forces at play, and for the most part, to our benefit.

Have you ever had something occur in your life that you had wished for years earlier, only to realize that now was the perfect timing? That in fact, you wouldn’t have been ready for it any earlier? That in retrospect, everything was leading up to the perfect moment of this unfolding?

We want to feel in charge of our lives. It makes us feel safe knowing that we have control. And to some extent, we have complete control in dictating our desires, in stating our ambitions, and in following our well laid plans.

But sometimes life has a way of throwing us curve balls. There is a delay in an outcome we are hoping to produce, or the timing doesn’t work out as we planned. We’re not where we think we should be, financially, socially, professionally, creatively, or romantically.

And yet even in this, there is perfection.

In other words, for those of you who think your time has passed, or it’s too late, or there is not enough time, I ask you: How do you know this? How do you know that in this moment, right now, you are not exactly where you are supposed to be?

That things are not working out for you, despite appearances?

I had a teacher who used to pose the question: “If everything is perfect exactly as it is, what is it that you are not seeing?”

In other words, what are you gaining from this situation that is perfect for your unfolding, right now; and how is this preparing you for the thing you desire?

We are always afraid our ship is not going to come in, or if it does, it did already and left without us. Our ship may come and go, but there will be another one and another one and another one. And another one.

We are coming into our own in the timing we need. For each of us it will be different, but for each of us, it will also be perfect.

Inspirational leader Mary Morrissey talks about Chinese Bamboo and how it is a very slow-growing and fragile plant. She says that if the bamboo is cared for, watched over and nurtured, in one year it grows two inches, in the next year it grows two inches, in the next year it grows two inches, in the next year it grows two inches, and then in the fifth year, it grows 80 feet!

This is how it is with our development. We intend. We make incremental changes. We show up for our success in whatever way we can. Over time, everything comes to fruition, harmonizing all aspects in such a creative way that if we were to look back on it, we would marvel at the perfection of it all.

We would know that we were making strides all along.

Trust in the perfection of your life and let yourself be fully where you are in the moment. Trust that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Know that what you have to look forward to is greater than what you are leaving behind.

And trust that you will “arrive” in time and on time, not a minute sooner.


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Sonya Derian is the owner and founder of Om Freely, a company dedicated to helping people live out loud, tap into their power, and transform their lives. To pick up your free ebook: Om Freely: 30 Ways to Live Out Loud, please visit http://omfreely.com . Or check out her online store at: http://cafepress.com/omfreely.

FFF Diva Lifestyle: 10 things all single people must do

As a single FFF Diva, I know that my singe-dom status is because I wanted to be single by choice. Yes you heard right: BY CHOICE. Why? Well personally for me all of my serious relationships in the past were majority long distance (Southern California, New Mexico, Pennsylvania, Washington D.C., etc.) and today I have been single for almost 5 months. Result: less stressful. I enjoy being single at this point in my life because a) long distance relationships require a lot of emotional & financial investment b) I would like to at least go on a date with a nice young man within a 75 mile radius of me c) NOT be someone's girlfriend until I get my life & priorities in order, because as the great drag queen Ru Paul always says: "How in the hell can you love someone else, if you can't even love yourself?" With that, below is a list I have found that is very motivating for a single man or woman (whether it be single by choice or not, LOL). Out of this list I have completed the following in my lifetime of dating/non-dating/etc. with my comments following after:

2. Wallow in the ache of a broken heart: Totally self-explanatory. Sometimes you need to hit rock bottom (emotional relationship rock bottom in this case) to really find who YOU are without someone. It's a nice trip to finding yourself.
4. Don’t come home all night: Talk about re-living my college years. Now that I am out of college and finishing up Graduate school I will say that I do this still, but definitely NOT quite as often. Haha.
5. Stand up for a cause you care about: ACTIVISM is my middle name. Might as well tell you all now that I am a very progressive young Democrat. But regardless of your party orientation...finding what you are passionate about and doing something about it is a great value not only to your own life, but to your community. I do social justice work at my local Catholic church and sing in the choir. I help to elect as many young Democrats (18-35 year olds) to office in the Bay Area (California). There are many things YOU can do in your own local neighborhood, community, and city and it doesn't have to be anything big, just something you are passionate about and truly care about.
6. Have a real adventure: Hahaha. I'll save that for another blog! ; )
8. Buy something hugely impractical just because you love it. Can you say designer purses?: From Dooney & Burke to Coach and everything above and below. <3
9. Develop a hobby: My hobby? Long distance running. Can you say marathon?
10. Be completely, utterly, wholly single for at least three months: I will say yes I have, but I will definitely say...a girl has needs. That is all.

So check out the list and do an inventory check on your own single life (if you are single that is) and please feel free to share. I love report backs!

<3 FFF Diva Mo

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10 things all single people must do
By Amy Spencer




1. Travel alone. Whether you’re trying to find your way through the Paris Metro or the London Underground, haggling over a painting in Mexico or choosing where to bed down in the Badlands, traveling by yourself builds a confidence you simply can’t get any other way. In an unfamiliar place, you have to make decisions by yourself, for yourself every day, which will build a self-reliance you’ll always treasure — even when you become part of a twosome.

2. Wallow in the ache of a broken heart. Oh, the pain. The agony. The pints of Ben & Jerry’s in front of the cable TV. Yep, getting dumped is beyond awful, but guess what? It’s the only way that you’ll develop the empathy you’ll need to be a better partner in a relationship. Because if you’re sensitive to the grief someone else has caused you, you’re less likely to do the same to anyone else. So, consider this painful milestone a lesson in karma that’ll serve you well as you travel through your dating days. Browse Local Singles at Match.com on Yahoo!

I am a: Man Woman Seeking a: Man Woman Near: 3. Spend a weekend with a married couple your age. On lonely nights, it’s common for single folk to envision marriage as a cozy scene from a classic film or mail-order catalog. But by spending 48 hours with a real couple, you’ll learn that in between the snuggling and pet names comes growling, bickering, silent treatments and maybe even a slammed door or two before they ultimately compromise. It will show you what married life is like, warts and all, so you won’t over-idealize the two-becomes-one phenomenon again.

4. Don’t come home all night. That’s right, wild thing. Crash on a friend’s couch, take your friends up on that offer of a last-minute trip… Once you have a mate, you can’t just take off on your own without explanation. And, truthfully, you won’t want to. So if you don’t have someone you have to call and check in with every few hours, take this opportunity to check out!

5. Stand up for a cause you care about. Whether you volunteer to help register voters for the next election (why not start early?) or convince your neighborhood or apartment complex to start recycling, get fired up over an issue while you have the time to devote to it. It will remind you that while, yes, finding your soul mate is pretty important, there are other issues at stake in the world that could use your help. And besides, the big-heartedness you’ll be cultivating is very attractive.

6. Have a real adventure. Learn to fly a plane, surf some big waves, or start your own business. Give yourself a thrill by doing something just for you, just for the experience — without having someone at home worrying about you or nagging you not to. Oh, and one more gift with purchase: Think about how much fun you’ll have telling your next date about your daring experience.

7. Learn how to take care of yourself. Being solo shouldn’t keep you from cooking for yourself, so learn how to make an impressive meal for one (even if it’s mac and cheese with your own added favorite extra thrown in). While you’re at it, learn how to back up your hard drive and sew on replacement buttons. You’ll feel strong and self-sufficient — and you’ll be armed with skills to share when you are in a relationship.

8. Buy something hugely impractical just because you love it. Once you’re in a relationship, you’ll start thinking about your partner before you purchase pricey items — not just “Will he or she hate it?” but “Is this where I want to be putting my money if we’re saving for a wedding?” The single life means a single bank account and an excuse to blow a wad of cash without (some of the) guilt. So, make yourself happy and buy something you crave, whether it’s an expensive vintage movie poster or a decked-out mountain bike.

9. Develop a hobby. Learn to woodwork, play acoustic guitar, speak French, DJ on turntables, or make digital short films for fun. Of course you can (and should) still have hobbies when you’re dating someone, but your solo time is prime time to devote yourself to something that makes life more interesting for you — and makes you more interesting to others.

10. Be completely, utterly, wholly single for at least three months. Hopping wildly from one relationship to the next can do you a disservice. Why? Because you’re never more ripe for self-reflection than when you’re on your own — and the more you know yourself, the more likely you are to find someone who’s right for the real you.

Amy Spencer writes about relationships and other topics for Glamour, Maxim, Real Simple and Cosmopolitan magazines. She personally swears by all of the above — though she admits to being a little too chummy with number 8 on the list.

FFF Diva Advice: 9 "Harmless" Habits That Age You

9 "Harmless" Habits That Age You
By the Editors of Prevention
Thu, Jul 15, 2010
Prevention

It pretty much goes without saying that smoking cigarettes and frying your skin in the sun make you older, so kudos for quitting and slathering on the sunscreen religiously. But if you're trying to turn back the clock—or at least slow it down a little—don't overlook these other habits that may be sabotaging your efforts.

1. You keep your college bedtime
It's not uncommon for superbusy women to cram a day's worth of around-the-house to-dos into the late evening hours, a practice that pushes back bedtime into—eep!—Late Night with Jimmy Fallon territory. The problem with this is that too-little sleep is proving to be really, really bad for your health: Research links it to high blood pressure, diabetes, weight gain, and even just looking tired and older.

Act your age: We're not saying you need a perfect 8 hours every single night, but make sleep a priority more often and your body will thank you. Everyone's sleep needs are different; to find out what yours are, sleep experts recommend you turn off the alarm clock when you're well rested, and see how long you naturally sleep. (Most people need 7 to 8 hours.)

Instant Health Boost: 12 Quick ways to better your mind and body today!

2. You have a soft spot for sweets
A sugar-packed diet can take its toll on your waistline, but now experts also believe it can make your skin dull and wrinkled too. To blame is a natural process known as glycation, in which the sugar in your bloodstream attaches to proteins to form harmful new molecules called advanced glycation end products (AGEs, for short). The more sugar you eat, the more AGEs you develop; these damage surrounding proteins like collagen and elastin, which keep skin firm and elastic. Once damaged, springy and resilient collagen and elastin become dry and brittle, leading to wrinkles and sagging. These aging effects start at about age 35 and increase rapidly after that, according to a study published in the British Journal of Dermatology.

Act your age: It's not easy to eliminate sugar completely, but limiting added sugar to no more than 10% of total calories can help. If you're a 45-year-old woman of average height (5-foot-4), that's 160 calories (or 10 teaspoons) from added sugar—about the number in one 12-ounce can of Coca-Cola or six Hershey's Kisses. By comparison, the average American consumes 31 teaspoons per day of added sugar, or the equivalent of 465 calories. Watch for stealthy sugar in unexpected foods, like salad dressing. Many prepared foods contain hefty amounts of sugar, but it's hidden under aliases—including barley malt, corn syrup, dextrose, fruit juice concentrate, maltose, maple syrup, molasses, and turbinado—on ingredient panels.

3. You're stressed more often than not
You don't feel good when you're stressed-out—be it from work projects piling up, a miserable commute, issues with the kids, etc.—and there's good biological proof why you shouldn't. Stress increases the concentration of the hormones cortisol and norepinephrine in the bloodstream, kicking up blood pressure and suppressing immunity. Over time, stress that doesn't go away can delay healing, harden your arteries, and possibly shrink areas of your brain involved in learning, memory, and mood—talk about feeling older!

Act your age: Stress will never go away completely, but how you manage everyday blips can keep hormones on a more even—and healthy—keel. Deep breathing is the top antistress pick of Prevention advisor Andrew Weil, MD: He makes time for it at least twice a day. "It only takes 2 minutes," he says. "I do it in the morning, when I'm falling asleep in the evening, and anytime I feel upset." Try it: Exhale strongly through the mouth, making a whoosh sound. Breathe in quietly through the nose for a count of 4. Hold your breath for a count of 7, then exhale with the whoosh for a count of 8. Repeat the cycle 3 more times.

10 silent signs you're more stressed than you think.

4. You only exercise to lose weight
Exercise is one of the best turn-back-the-clock agents around, but too many of us don't reap its full benefits because we only associate physical activity with weight loss. If you tend to hit the gym in 2-week stints to shed a few pounds, but then take a few months off from physical activity, you're missing out on some major health perks. Research shows that vigorous exercisers have longer telomeres—cellular biomarkers that shorten as we age—compared with healthy adults who rarely work out. Being active consistently can help fight brain fog, reduce inflammation, and prevent type 2 diabetes and other chronic conditions that crop up over time.

Act your age: Don't let your sneakers get dusty. Choose any activity you enjoy—be it walking, cycling, or dancing—and aim for a minimum of 20 to 25 minutes a day. Break it down, if you have to, into two 10-minute sessions. Slowly increase the frequency, duration, and intensity in small increments. If you miss a day, don't let it become a habit; just pick up again the next day.

5. You blast your iPod
Nothing makes you feel 80 years old like having to cup your ear and say "Excuse me?" to get your friend to repeat herself... again. Hearing loss typically develops slowly, the result of prolonged exposure to thousands of high-decibel insults to the ear, many of which come from exposure to everyday gadgets, like iPods or hair dryers. MP3 players set at 50% volume can pump out sounds up to 101 decibels, well over the recommended safety threshold.

Act your age: To ageproof your iPod, keep the volume as low as possible. Use noise-canceling earbuds to block out ambient sounds, reducing your need to jack up the volume. Wear earplugs when you're around other loud noises too, like the garbage disposal, coffee grinder, lawn mower, etc.

14 Everyday ways you damage your health.

6. You never see your girlfriends
Your friends were probably the meat and potatoes of your social calendar back in your 20s; now you spend most of your spare time shuttling your tweens around to their various get-togethers. But here's why making time to cultivate your friendships is so key: One study found that satisfying friendships predict longevity better than even close family ties, and they can protect against obesity, depression, and heart disease, among other health problems. No wonder you always feel reenergized after a marathon catch-up call with your best college friend or a girls' night out with your high school crew.

Act your age: Your friends keep you young—simple as that. So if hectic schedules keep you apart, consider carving a more permanent place in your schedule for friend time. Take advantage of Facebook or e-mail groups to stay in touch on a more frequent basis—even clicking through and commenting on a pal's recently uploaded vacation photos can help you feel closer.

7. You eat veggies—but not daily
You've likely heard that antioxidant-packed fruits and veggies can help you stay young. These powerful compounds fight free radicals that would otherwise wreak havoc on your body and skin, damaging cells that can lead to cancer and make you look older. But here's the rub: Antioxidants remain active for only a few hours and need to be continually replenished, so don't think you're set for the week after eating a big salad for lunch on Monday.

Act your age: ODing on veggies a couple of days a week or month—and skipping them the rest of the time—doesn't do your body any favors. To truly maximize their age-defying benefits, aim to eat antioxidants every 4 hours or so or with every meal.

8. You've shunned all fat from your diet
Cutting out artery-clogging saturated and trans fats is a heart-healthy move, but when it comes to your health and vitality, equally slashing unsaturated fats, like those found in fish, nuts, and olive oil, is like throwing the proverbial baby out with the bathwater. One kind, omega-3 fatty acids, is the ultimate anti-aging fat, essential for protecting your brain, heart, bones, joints, skin, and more. Another kind, monounsaturated, can lower bad LDL cholesterol, raise cardio-protective HDL cholesterol, and decrease your risk of atherosclerosis. Plus, studies suggest that a higher intake of these fats may contribute to longer life expectancy.

Act your age: Remember that fat isn't inherently evil, and it won't make you fat per se. About 20 to 35% of your daily calories should come from fat (mainly healthy, unsaturated fat) like those from the above sources.

9. You can't recall when you last had sex
Yep, sex feels good and does wonders for your mood, but it's also fantastically great for your health. Research shows that people with active sex lives have stronger immune systems, less pain, a lower cancer risk, healthier hearts, and less stress. The best news: It can even make you look younger—up to 12 years, a study shows.

Act your age: Rekindle the romance between you and your partner. To shake things up, try making the first move next time. "Some women are not active participants in their sex lives," says Pat Covalt, PhD, author of What Smart Couples Know. "A lot of men would like to be touched more, seduced more. Everyone wants to feel wanted."

Original Article Link: http://health.yahoo.net/rodale/PVN/9-harmless-habits-that-age-you