Dear Lolo Doring

FFF Diva Mo with her family, 2011

Dear Lolo Doring,

I can’t believe that it’s going to be five years since you graced this earth. Whenever, I got stressed out I knew I could always calm down with a simple chat with you. So here goes: You taught me that that “close enough” wasn’t enough. In 2011, our pamilya watched me walk for my MBA degree, but I was two classes short. I just wanted our family to see me finish, but I never did. By the time I wanted to go back to school you passed away and it crushed me. I justified it by saying “close enough, he at least saw me graduate.” As each year passed I knew it would be harder to go back, but in 2017 life circumstances changed and I needed to go back & finish what I started. It’s been 11 years since I started this original grad school journey, but I’m proud to say I got readmitted back to school and god willing I finish this December. Two classes unfortunately turned into more, but it is what it is - gotta push through. I have lived the last several years in deep denial and failure. I know I should be proud that I’m going back to finish - life after all is a marathon not a sprint. Don’t worry, I know this now. This is why I’ve been a hermit since January, like Elle Woods studying for her LSATs. I took a step back from everything. School and my health are my top priorities and luckily I see the light at the end of the tunnel. In fact I’m going to Argentina as a culminating project of my studies - a global consulting trip with a company based out of Buenos Aires. Please watch over me the next couple of months. Know that I am finishing this degree not only for myself but for you and my future kids as a reminder to never let close enough be enough. It took Mom 10 years to finish her Masters Degree as a full time nurse and part time student. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. 🍎

With all my love,
Moyeen

           FFF Diva Mo with MBA Global Consulting Practicum group & professors in Argentina, 2018

FFF Diva Realization: Mental Vacation

Life Transitions: July 2011, photo courtesy of Cree Djork

Quote of the Day: "Love the body you have today, regardless of what you want it to look like."

It's been about two months since I updated this blog. I could go back and explain what I did the last two months, but I will just summarize it as this: I was finding myself through the course of a mental vacation. I seriously vegged out. I was still running, exercising, and skating but in reality I was a lost mess. I delved back into my habits of exercising but eating whatever I wanted. In all honesty I lost sight and track of the former disciplined Maureen. So during my two months off from blogging and other things I am happy to report that I am back and more motivated than ever to lose my last 50 lbs. to get back to my original college weight. Once that is achieved then I can address other things like toned muscles, etc. It's all about the low hanging fruit.

I just wanted to let you all know that this journey has had many ups and downs but I can finally see the light. (I know cheesy, but be patient with me, LOL)

I'll end on this note: Everyone needs a life reboot from time to time. A life reboot is an opportunity to make change for the better. Almost like wiping the slate clean. I've started my reboot. How about you?

Committed to health,
FFF Diva Mo

FFF Diva Tiny Buddha Wisdom: Does Life Happen to You?

"Does Life Happen to You?" from Tinybuddha.com
by Declan O’Flaherty

Declan lives in Dublin, Ireland. He is a plasterer, printer, and inventor but most importantly, a thinker. His passion is to constantly work on himself through meditations, mental exercises, visualizations, and affirmations.

“The more light you allow within you, the brighter the world you live in will be.” ~Shakti

Does your life just happen to you?

Would it be safe to suggest that a lot of people wake up each morning, shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch television, go to bed, and repeat the same course of events Monday through Friday without ever being fully conscious of what they’re doing?

The list of events listed above may differ for some people but the point is still the same. Does life just happen to you, or do you consciously plan your days ahead?
Do you live your life on automatic pilot for the most part?

Take an inventory of your daily routines and ask yourself if you are in the same situation emotionally and physically as you were last month, year, or even decade.
It’s very easy to dismiss such a notion of being on auto pilot for a large portion of your life. But if you don’t consciously create your desired outcome for a prosperous, successful, and happy life, then you are not living up to your true potential.

I know we all have certain responsibilities we must attend to on a daily basis, and I am certainly not suggesting we ignore our responsibilities and go chasing our dreams without attending to these first. What I am saying though, is you also have a responsibility to yourself.

The question you need to ask is whether or not you would respect the decisions you have made in life if nothing had changed in the next 10, 20, or 30 years. No doubt your life will be different in 30 years–but will it be from you taking control or because life just changed (as it does) and you coasted along on automatic pilot.

I have met many people who are not living up to even close to what they are capable of. The worse thing is that they don’t make any effort whatsoever to change their circumstances. They obviously want to have a better life, but it’s as if they’re hoping things will magically get better for them further down the line.

There are also a lot of people who convince themselves that life is so hard and that good things only happen to a select group of people, or that some people are just lucky and life favors some and not others. Fortunately this is not the case at all.
We are all the masters of our own destiny, and if you put the work in you will undoubtedly see positive results.

Changing your life for the better is not about completely changing everything at once. The first step in creating a better life for yourself is to be consciously aware of the direction you are heading.

The choices you make have consequences and the thoughts you entertain affect the choices you make. So the best place to start if you want to change your life is to change your thinking.

When we really and truly take full responsibility for our thoughts and subsequent actions, we can never blame anyone or anything for the way our life is today. It’s not what happens outside that affects our lives; it’s the reaction we have to what happens outside that affects our lives.

Imagine two people looking at any given situation but both have a different reaction to it. How these two people see the event will determine their experience. Thus, the experience creates a different reality in the mind of both people.

That’s how life works: our interpretations and experiences are a direct result of our reactions. If we believe that life is hard, then guess what–it will be.
If we want to change our lives for the better, we need to start with ourselves, and the first step is by controlling our thoughts.

If you haven’t made a conscious effort before to monitor your thoughts then you may not realize that your mind makes up its own stories and you are not in control until you actually take control. I’m going to suggest a powerful exercise that I have used for myself.

For 30 days you must make a conscious effort to challenge your negative thoughts to create a stronger sense of control over your future.
Every time you notice a negative thought, replace it with a more positive perspective.

Whenever you notice that you are doubting yourself, do the same as above and replace with an opposite and positive thought.

A couple of times each day, stop what you are doing and notice how you are feeling; then ask yourself what you were thinking. What you are thinking affects how you’re feeling.

Don’t criticize anybody for any reason, either in person or in your head. This is one of the biggest energy-destroying, negative thought processes a person can have; and almost everybody does it on a day to day basis.

Make a conscious effort every day to praise somebody for even the simplest of things. Just a simple comment to somebody can create their day. Depending on the comment, it can also destroy their day. Words are powerful, and they can change lives.

These exercises help me become more conscious of my mind to get a better understanding of how often it limits me when not monitored. If you stick to this exercise and make the effort to work hard at each step, you will see changes. Our thoughts have no power other than the power we give them.

Your conscious mind couldn’t care less whether you think negative thoughts or positive thoughts, but it makes a huge difference to you and your life. You are not your mind, you are the person who can control what the mind thinks. Take responsibility for your thoughts and then take responsibility for the life you create. One thought, one decision, one action at a time.

FFF Diva Advice: "Live Your Life Out Loud: 30 Ways to Get Started"

Live Your Life Out Loud: 30 Ways to Get Started

by Sonya Derian

Live Out Loud“If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I will tell you, I came to live out LOUD.” ~Émile Zola

1. Live your life on purpose. Not on “default.” Be Proactive. Make conscious and deliberate choices. When you don’t choose, circumstances choose for you and you are never leading: you are following or catching up—or worse, living in “default” mode.

2. Utilize your full potential. Give what you’re doing your best and fullest attention. Be here now. Even if you’re not where you want to be, giving it half your effort doesn’t move you forward. Master what you have at hand, for the sake of mastering it and something will shift.

3. Overcome your fear. Get out of your comfort zone. Find out you have a pulse. Let something give you butterflies in your stomach. This is how you know you’re alive—how you grow into something new. Every fear overcome is a freedom gained. Don’t know how to overcome fear? Do the thing you’re afraid of. Cross them off the list. Make it a game. Pretty soon, you will be invincible.

4. Discover a new talent. One of my favorite quotes by Martha Grimes is, “We don’t know who we are until we see what we can do.” But we don’t find this out until we try something new. Learn a new instrument, take an art class, play with a digital camera, sign up for a salsa class, take up cooking, plant a garden, join toastmasters, pick up a needle and thread, try mountain climbing, go scuba diving, camping or kayaking. Find something that interests you and explore it. You never know what will come out of it.

5. Honor your word. When you strip everything else away, your word is all you’ve got. Do what you say you’re going to do. By honoring your word, you honor yourself. And it doesn’t feel good when you don’t. So, make it a habit. Value your integrity and keep your promises. It’s a good life practice. It’s a good business practice.

6. Create a new habit or break an old one. Who has dominion over your life—you or your habits? Make it a game. How many things can you get under your control? How many bad habits can you convert? There is a great sense of empowerment when you feel you are in charge of your life. This helps you get there.

7. Pay a stranger a compliment. Not only does it make someone else feel good, but it makes you feel good to compliment someone else. All of the sudden the world is small and the stranger next to us becomes our friend and we recognize that we’re all in this together.

8. Take yourself out on a date. Treat yourself. Bring a book. Bring something you’re working on. Bring a journal and use it to write up all the amazing qualities that you want in a partner or a friendship when it comes your way. Find somewhere that has music or wireless and plant yourself there. Have a meal, enjoy it. Treat yourself. You deserve it. Living out loud is playing out loud whether you have someone to join you or not. And you never know who you might meet or strike up a conversation with.

9. Take 100% responsibility for your life. If things aren’t working out in your favor, take note and ask yourself what your part in it is. Being a victim is passé, boring. There is no power in blaming other people. Don’t wait for other people to change. When you change, your world will follow suit.

10. Live in the question. There is nothing you cannot be, do or have. So do not impose limitations on yourself. Instead of saying you can’t get there, ask “How can I get there?” Live in the affirmation of possibility rather than the declaration of negativity. There is always a way, and it is being presented consistently, but you have to live in the question to be on the lookout for the answer.

Beautiful Scenery

11. Make more decisions for yourself. There is great power in making a decision. It’s a declaration. You don’t know what you want? Then look at what you don’t want and work backwards. I bet you do know what you want; you just haven’t been in the habit of asking yourself. Hey. That’s a new habit to change! (See #6)

12. Learn to say “No.” To live your best possible life, you need to learn how to say no to the things that aren’t serving you. The best barometer to measure this by is: if it isn’t a “hell yeah” (yippee, so fun, can’t wait), then it is most probably a no. If you have to talk yourself into it, it’s a no. Once you get comfortable saying no, everything becomes a matter of choice. Living a life of choice is a living a life of freedom.

13. Know your own value. Others may be more educated, skilled or talented in one or another area, but there is something magnificent and valuable about what you have to offer this world that, in comparison, is equal. Do not allow yourself or anyone else to diminish it. You have a learning disability? So did Dr. John Demartini and that’s what makes him the most powerful speaker today. Joe Vitale came from homelessness. Look at him now. Stop idolizing anyone else’s gifts and dismissing your own.

14. Give yourself permission. For everything. Permission to make mistakes. Permission to shine. Permission to look beautiful. Permission to accept (instead of correct or dismiss) praise. Permission to have bad days. Permission to get angry. Permission to cry, to laugh, to scream. Permission to take the day off. Permission to take a nap, go to sleep early. Permission to get a massage. Permission to do nothing. Permission to succeed. Life is about being here now, in all your full range of emotions, mood swings, wins and losses. Give yourself permission to live out loud today.

15. Own your own opinion. No one has to agree with you in order for your opinion to matter. Stop waiting for consensus. YOU matter. Your opinion matters. The nature of Living Out Loud is that some people will agree with you and some people won’t. You will NEVER get consensus. So, stop looking for it. The only question you have to ask is, does your opinion matter to you? Claim it. Own it. And know that with new information, it could change tomorrow. Life is transitory. Live in the evolution.

16. Do not punish yourself for past actions. Your past behavior was what you’ve done, but it is not who you are. Who you are is still unfolding. Mistakes, errors in judgments, and failures all add to our character and value. They make us human and compassionate and wise. To berate yourself for acquiring these valuable qualities is wrong, so stop it. A new beginning starts today.

17. Live in the realm of “possibility” rather than “probability.” Stay open at the top. You don’t know what the outcome can be. Statistics are made up of groups. You are an Individual. Be the individual that charts your own course. You don’t know what is possible for you until you find out.

18. Do not argue for your limitations, but instead focus on your strengths. We all have weaknesses, but we also have our strengths. What do you do well? Practice that. When you lead with your strengths, the rest follows suit. And miraculously, your limitations sort of disappear. What you focus on grows.

19. Practice gratitude. In a world of imperfections, it’s amazing how perfect things actually are. But sometimes we have to look for them. When your life’s circumstances aren’t working in your favor, the one thing you do have control over is your attitude. If you lead with gratitude, and create a habit of it, in short order, your life will change.

20. Be authentic. Thoreau said, “If I am not I, who will be?” Did you ever notice that the ones who are most successful are not the ones that follow the masses and trends, but the ones who stand in their own authentic expression and declare who they are? Regardless of who agrees with them? There is an expression that is uniquely yours and to dismiss it, is to dismiss the divine.

Alive

21. Own your own power. The answers are not outside of you. Own what you know. The more you practice this, the more you hone the powerful magnetic field that surrounds you and the more power you emit in your convictions, knowing and in your life. Your results will confirm this.

22. Stop Complaining. Complaining is a form of passive victimhood. Ask yourself instead, why is this happening to me and what part do I play in this picture? Then work on your part of the solution. Have you ever found yourself not setting a boundary and allowing someone to take advantage of you? Or not taking care of yourself in a situation and getting burned by the outcome? We are always the single common denominators in our lives and we are the only ones we have control over. Use what you are complaining about as your inner clues as to where you need to start taking better care of yourself.

23. Practice “being” and have nothing to prove. Know your own value with or without results. Your value is in your human being-ness not your human doing-ness. In a society that is wrapped up in image, this is sometimes difficult to practice. People ask what you do, not who you are. But a person who knows their own value, does not have to prove it.

24. Be of service. Offer your help where you can and do your part in making the world a friendly place. We are all in this together. As Gandhi preached: be the change that you wish to see happen. You would be surprised by the impact you have.

25. Love generously. Spread random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty. Hatred is already rampant. We need to tip the scales the other way. Love is a far more powerful emotion and has far reaching consequences. Living out loud means loving Out loud. And ironically, the more you love, the more love you have to give.

26. Find your bliss and live your passion. Again, don’t know what that is? Then it’s time to find out! Your emotions give away clues. When your life has spun out of control and you are finding yourself in a tizzy, go back to what makes you happiest and do that. The more you follow this thread, the more you are leading with the heart. There are always ways to monetize your passion, to find ways to make a living at what you love, but first you have to discover it. Your emotions don’t lie. Follow their lead.

27. Stop waiting. Life is happening right now. Don’t wait for the right career, the perfect relationship, the landfill of money. Make the best of what you have right now and be creative with it. Don’t put your life on pause. Live with the possibility that what you are waiting for can arrive tomorrow, and live your best life today.

28. Let other people off the hook. They didn’t mean harm, and even if they did, it hurt them more than it hurt you. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and rise even taller. Don’t use anyone as your excuse to shirk your responsibility to live a bigger life. Victimhood is not a badge of honor. Overcoming adversity is. Use success and joy as your barometer. And march on.

29. Use co-creation to help you. We are always working in conjunction with invisible forces. They want to create on your behalf, but they are waiting for your leadership to direct them. Living out loud means acknowledging that we are a big presence with a big force of nature at our disposal. We don’t underestimate our power. We utilize it.

30. March to the beat of your own drum and stay the course. Do you hear your own music, but find yourself dancing to the tune of someone else’s beat? Stop it. Were you told at any point in your life that your own music was the wrong kind? Re-Consider. The symphony of the world’s vibration, the hum of its tune, is the sound OM (aum). Your task is to find your own Om—your life force vibration, life pattern or purpose, your song or melody . Find it, claim it, express it, and live it. Never give up on yourself. You are who you are. It’s time to honor that and make use of it. Stay the course.

For many of us, this is already a way of life. But to others, some of these practices may feel daunting. To you, I say this: just start. You may not succeed 100% of the time, but like a friend once said, “Life is a hard hat zone, we’re always under construction.”

Bloom where you are planted. Work from the inside out. Make the commitment to yourself and get started.

Find your “OM”. Claim It. Own it. Express It. Live it. You are divinely supported.

FFF Diva Song of the Day: "Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart" by Alicia Keys

At the beginning of this music video the following statement is said:

THERE ARE THOSE AMONG US WHO ARE BLESSED WITH THE POWER TO SAVE WHAT IS LOVED BY ANOTHER,

BUT POWERLESS TO USE THIS BLESSING FOR LOVE THEMSELVES.

Lately, during my weight loss journey I have been experiencing a lot of emotional ups and downs around: support, lack of support, close friends moving far away, letting certain friends go because they aren't good for me, family, work, school, commuting, challenges of boot camp, meeting personal health goals, cutting social activities, sleeping earlier, coming to terms that I am no longer considered severely obese but now viewed as chubby (by society) therefore I need to recognize how much privilege I have gained from although being still fat but more accepted in society now than before, using a scale to weigh my food, realizing I can say "no," and boys (enough said). In any case I have been realizing that I need to live my life only for me. Once I live my life for me I will be in a healthier position to help others such as family and friends. I am happy when I am healthier, so once that happens I know it will cause a ripple effect in everything else in my life from school to work to even (dare I say) love.

I have the power to inspire and motivate people by sharing the successes and challenges surrounded by my weight loss journey, however I also need to inspire and motivate myself to get to that end goal weight and healthiness I want to possess.

With that...enjoy the FFF Song of the Day: "Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart" by Alicia Keys

This is the link on YOUtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvjuEsfdiT4

Here is a live performance of the song by Alicia Keys, but not the official video:


Always being fierce,
FFF Diva Mo : )

FFF Diva Song of the Day: "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Jennifer Hudson

Jennifer Hudson performing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"



Beyonce performing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"

Recently, a friend of mine have me a pep talk. I wasn't feeling like myself and I felt that I was in a slump. She told me that I needed to just change my perspective on life. Did I want to do it the Beyonce way or the Jennifer Hudson way? I looked at her with a confused look and instead of explaining it to me she said she would just let me listen and judge for myself.

Above are YOUtube clips of the song "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" being performed by Jennifer Hudson and Beyonce. When Beyonce sings her version it is beautiful, soft, & flowery. However, when Jennifer Hudson sings her version it is real, passionate, gritty, & full of love, pain, sorrow, etc. In the end I decided that I want to live my life the Jennifer Hudson way: real and full of passion.

Who knew it would take a song comparison of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" to show me that...

So do you want to be a Beyonce or a Jennifer Hudson?

FFF Diva Activity: Operation Boot Camp in the Rain

This week at Operation Boot Camp we are experiencing exercise in the rain! Did I fail to mention that we participate in boot camp rain or shine? Feel sorry for us? Well don't! I am just glad we aren't on the East Coast experiencing snow! I am definitely fine and dandy with warm rain and moist grass.

Today was absolutely fantastic, because we did so much ground work such as sit-ups and bear crawls. At camp thought I joke around that an added bonus to boot camp is STAR GAZING, mainly because it's 1) still dark outside that the stars are out 2) we are on our backs doing sit-ups, etc. staring at the sky!

The below email is from my trainer Ronny from earlier this week. Apparently Monday and Tuesday camp was SUPER WET and RAINY. Unfortunately I was not there because I was at home sick. P.S. Make sure you get enough sleep each night or else it hurts your body! I like the email because it's so motivating to help break through a challenge, especially if it involves rain and puddles.

Read on...you will see what I mean...

Best,
FFF Diva Mo

Hello Campers!

This morning was fun wasn't it?? No? Maybe you thought it was uncomfortable, maybe it would be nicer if you were sitting on a nice suede warm couch sipping on some hot chocolate...?

Eh! I hope you didn't answer "hell yea!" to that, thats the wrong answer!! It was a trick question, of course lol...

I was thinking about the workout today and how it was our FIRST Operation Boot Camp - San Jose rainy day camp. I was thinking about the common attitude that we have as people, when it comes to ANYTHING that we do not typically do throughout our lives. Rainy weather and water is one of them...

Do you remember a time... when you were a child and going out in the rain puddle jumping and getting all dirty was a fun thing? Not paying regard to the way that we'd be afterward, we had a singular care just about the "now" and having a good time, being lost in the moment of activity. Somewhere between being a child and being all grown up- there was a paradigm shift in our perceptions of "comfort" and "fun". It no longer is about not paying mind to the way you look and being active, now its more about alcohol and social dinners and clubs and all this other unhealthy stuff, that eventually catches up to us and causes us, as a country and society, to be the most obese in this world.

Although everyone was a trooper this morning and got through the workout well, I know it the back of everyone's mind, there's the "uuughghh... i hate the rain" talk cycling through their heads, in one form or the other. Well, when you think about it, that same voice is saying something else when you are out of breath from running sprints up hill, for when you're doing squats when you're legs are jello, or you can't feel your arms and you feel like you got nothing left when doing pushups. Just now, the only real difference is that this is a new thing that I'm sure all of us "hate getting wet" attitude that we've had when its rainy season through our adult lives.

I know I have....at one point anyway.

The point is this... ITS LIFE. Life doesn't provide you with the situation of "the right time and the right place" - YOU DO. there will ALWAYS be something that will make your journey difficult. Whether it be that you hate pushups, you're uncomfortable being cold, or you can't stand eating healthy food - they all require a change in mindset... The "right place and right time" is a self-fulfilling philosophy. NOW is the best time to get in shape, and lose the unwanted fat. Stay in with the habits and WORK THROUGH the mental difficulties as it relates to change. This is the right place and time! When you go into any situation with the relentless attitude and conviction of getting to your goals, you will normally achieve them. That simple, it really is. And when you buckle down when you might not be too excited - well guess what? its that much more rewarding and you will always remember that moment in life when you worked HARD for something you wanted - and you made no excuses, even the somewhat valid ones.

I know that everyone's experiencing first hand the "transition" of weather and environment by which we are working out in the morning, but guys- we are BLESSED. We live in California, this is the WORST it gets... thousands of people are experiencing MUCH much worse than we are around the country right now. I challenge you all to change your mindset the way that I have- to learn to have FUN with the rain.. embrace the beauty and nature of rain, rather than being mopey and complaining about it. Let's let that innerchild come out n play when we get to camp, pay no regard to weather but dress appropriately- and WORK HARD while at camp... please do not let the weather hold you back from life's most rewarding experiences - HEALTH. Don't pass it up.

Let's have fun with the weather transition guys... realize that you will never have AS good of a "right time and place" scenario as you do now. Especially now and the next 6 months. You have instructors than genuinely WANT to see you guys make the differences in your lives the way we all have, a program that's sets the stage for success, the nutritional guidance to keep you healthy, and you have obstacles that are testing your conviction and desire to get to your goals, as we all have as well. Work hard and be happy with what you see in the mirror! At the end of the day, week, month, or year,.. that's all thats left- no memories of rainy weather, no drama from family or friends, no work pressure and stress, and no temptations to eat cake at a birthday party- just you and yourself, in your birthday suit. Are you happy with the way you look? If not, it's completely up to you, and you alone to do something about it...

"The race is long, but in the end, it's only with yourself."

Committed to your success

Ronny